feel my anguish and feel my pain

when you left mid-way to nowhere

it has been a journey like going into orbit 

it isn’t a straightforward path 

but rather a spiral-like route

where I had to move myself 

trying forcefully still leading to nowhere.  

I feel your touch when you are absent 

I feel your scent when you aren’t around

but it’s a dull, stony feel as if in a vacuum 

still, I love you as I was loving you

still, I sense your footsteps entering the room 

and also receding past the hallway

still, I can feel your touch on my shoulders 

and your lips on my lips

and your head over my head 

and your hands caressing my back

my midriff and my chest

going all the way to feel my hardness.

the days and those silly, miserable nights 

when silence slowly engulfs me in her arms, 

I listen to your sweet voice as

the days become shorter and the nights long

and my grief expands its limits to eternity.

did you whisper all this is happening 

because I think too much of you? 

because your presence, I feel in your absence?

because you are still here in the room near me?

despite everything, I believe 

you have gone nowhere

because you can’t leave me alone

because I cannot live without you

because the truth is, I am still living 

in flesh and blood

because you are inside me

because you are my other face

visible to none and felt by me.